Hello sweet friends,
Did the title make anyone else just instantly cringe? That’s okay, ME TOO. I think the best way to describe how I feel about asking for help can be summed up in this funny quote that I found on Pinterest and only laughed because it’s 100% true!
“Me trying to ask someone for a favor: Hey could you help me with this thing? Absolutely no pressure though. Totally okay if you can’t. If you’d rather run me over with a car that’s cool. Are you mad at me?”
My point is asking for help is straight up painful. I’m not even talking about BIG help I am talking about like my husband can be standing right next to me and I will still attempt to carry in every single grocery bag by myself even though my pinky finger might need to be amputated from complete loss of circulation. You might be like “well that’s just silly” but I guarantee you’ve done something just as dorky.. like refusing help when someone offers to clean up after you’ve graciously hosted… not my finest moment.
So why.. why do we refuse to full embrace community when we were MADE for it? I was talking with a friend this week and we agreed we just simply aren’t eating enough HUMBLE pie! Galatians 6:2 says: “Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.” I can imagine that if we are to help bear another’s burdens that we too are suppose to ALLOW others to bear ours.
This is something I desperately struggle with and I wonder if someone reading this can admit to this being just about one of the hardest things to do.. to admit that you can’t do it alone. There have been so many times in my life when I tried to go it alone and found myself right back where I started! In my healthy journey I NEEDED someone to hold me accountable I just didn’t want to admit that I did. I can promise you that on my way to losing 60 pounds and 5 pant sizes I had a lot of “you go girl!” and a whole lot of “that’s not going to get you where you want to go!” It wasn’t until I fully embraced this concept of community that I began to see real change!
I’m wondering tonight if you feel this same way..maybe you have a fitness goal, maybe you desire to learn a new skill, or is it possible that you feel overwhelmed in this season of life and confident that you do NOT want help.. you just want to catch up?
A few years ago I listened to a sermon on “blessing blockers” afterwords I felt so silly for all the times I refused to let a friend lend a hand with the dishes after dinner!
The concept is simple..
Haven’t you ever served out an honest compliment like “you look beautiful today!” and the reply been “what? no, I look awful.”… Then it’s like super awkward because you were just speaking some truth and positivity that was meant to bless her and she just made you feel like you called her ugly in the first place? Blessing BLOCKED.
Another example: You finish up a delicious meal with friends and they offer to pick up the bill.. you refuse and end up splitting the check after a long awkward back and forth… you might feel satisfied that you don’t “owe” them anything but what if the Lord was using that meal to grow the heart of a cheerful giver in your friend? .. Blessing BLOCKED.
I’m not saying this perspective makes being on the receiving end of a generous gift or gesture any easier but I can say that I LOVE when my friends and family let me bless them and I don’t want to steal that joy from anyone. That being said I still have so much growth to do in this area of my life!
For the first few years of our infertility journey, I could not bring myself to even ask for prayer for our situation. I felt guilty even asking for our friends and family to do something as simple and as important as bringing our need before the Lord! I believe that it was difficult for me because..
1) I had to admit that we COULDN’T do something on our own.
2) I had to ASK people to do something that offered them no benefit.
I know now that hundreds of our friends and family are delighted to believe with and for us but first we had to have the courage to not “go it alone” and the humility to ask for help. I have learned over the last 5 years that every time we open up a little more about our story the Lord blesses us.. that doesn’t make it any easier to share the messy parts of my heart but it does remind me that God wants to take that mess and BLESS!
Truth is: I don’t know how God is going to give us a family. I don’t know if our 3rd fertility clinic will be the clinic God uses to make us parents or if He will bless us with children not from my womb.. thankfully I know that He is still the God of miracles and so no option is off the table! All this unknown makes me lean heavily on what I do know… I won’t be able to do it alone. This month we are “doing it scared,” we are taking steps towards growing our family again after a much needed 7 month fertility vacay!
Guess what: We need your help, send your prayers & believe with us for a miracle! Prayers for financial provision, prayers for clarity and for faith for what we cannot yet see!
Since I went first it only seems fair that you too, do something hard..so what is it?
Do you need help eating better?
Do you need help getting on a fitness routine?
Do you have a heavy burden & you need a friend to help carry the load?
1st step.. Admit what you need.
2nd step.. Accept help!
3rd step..encourage someone else to let you help carry their burden since you now have a free hand!
See ya next week!